Please Tell Me You Love Me.

  

 

 

Before we move on too far beyond Father’s Day, I want to share the number one response people had from the service. Many people thought the service and the sermon was meaningful. If you want, you can scroll back a few days and find my brief summary of the sermon. What struck a chord with people was something I glanced at in the sermon but didn’t dwell on. It was the insight that their fathers and mothers never told them they loved them. 

The response was visceral. 

Many adults, well into their late 70s, 80s, and 90s, shared the lack of the spoken words, “I love you,” from their parents. Some had tears in their eyes. 

One man told me he found his father dead, slumped against the bathroom sink. His first thought was, “You're dead and you never told me you loved me. Now, you’ll never get the chance.” Another woman said that she and her sister called their mother the Ice Queen. She was cold as ice to them, yet warm and loving to her adult friends. She never understood why her mother was so cold to them. 

Person after person repeated to me, “My father never told me that he loved me,” “My mother never said she loved me.” I was left stunned. How can something so obvious and easy to do be so absent from the mouths of parents? 

Children need to hear words of praise and love from their parents. Some parents feel they don’t need to say the words because they model their love by providing a roof, food, and education. They feel their actions speak louder than their words. 

I completely disagree.

 While the basic essentials are important, they are no replacement for parents using words, opening their mouths, looking their children in the eye, and saying, “I love you,” “I’m proud of you,” “You are a blessing to me.” 

I tell parents that when children know our love and blessing, it’s as if we affix wings to their backs. Our love allows children to rise above trials and hardships. It gives our kids resolve. They have the feeling that while “This kid thinks I’m the scum, my father has my back.” 

I believe our children need to constantly hear our praise. My kids are all in their 30s. Every time we talk, I tell them how much I love them and I’m proud of them. I send them text messages that will pop on their phone in the middle of the day. I do the same for my daughter-in-law. I’m now using words of love and praise with my grandsons. I want them to grow up hearing their Pop tell them he loves them and he’s proud of them. 

If you didn’t grow up hearing the words, then hear it from God. God loves you as a father to a child. God is proud of you like a mother to her children. You are a blessing to God. 

Don’t be the Ice Queen. Don’t be slumped dead against the bathroom sink leaving a sad legacy. Moms and dads, uncles and aunts, grandmas and grandpas, use words. Open your mouths, engage your tongues, get on your kids' level, and use these words...

 

I love you, I’m very proud of you, you are a blessing to me.

 

Maybe we all need to hear these same words, no matter how old we are.

 

Steve